


Fixed and Unbending

by starlurker



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-18
Updated: 2010-09-18
Packaged: 2017-10-12 00:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlurker/pseuds/starlurker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid is a man of principle, a man of integrity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fixed and Unbending

**Author's Note:**

> From a prompt in the LuRe prompts community: Luke has just finished med school and has come to Oakdale for the first time to start his internship at Memorial. Bob has bullied/coerced/blackmailed Reid into being in charge of training the new interns. It didn't quite turn out that way.

Reid lined up the interns along the hallway, all of them quailing with a combination of adrenaline, fear and intimidation. He'd asked them to make nametags for themselves -- he had better things to dedicate brain cells to, certainly not random, unproven idiots. Probable burnouts anyway. His innate sense of knowing who could stick it out and who would leave in tears was about 90%, which his fellow residents viewed with irritated respect, when they could stand to talk to him about anything other than medical issues.

Singh was a very pretty girl who probably weighed about 100lbs soaking wet. Nothing about her provoked a nickname, which Reid noted with a pang of genuine regret, though she had an aura of calm authority about her, which meant she was doing this to go into a director role in the future or she was damned good. Dowling bit his lip and fidgeted the entire time Reid has been watching him -- the odds were good that this guy would run screaming the minute theory became practice. He also had bulging, watery eyes, like he'd been cutting onions his entire life and decided at the last minute to switch to medicine; Reid was looking forward to coming up with a particularly insulting nickname for him (Fish-Eyes? Goldfish?) De Soto was wearing shoes with high heels, so she was clearly an idiot. Kwon was tall, intense and was already asking smart but strange questions -- Reid Oliver in Korean form, he noted dryly. Reid liked him almost immediately.

Snyder he didn't quite know what to make of, and that pissed him off. Insanely attractive and clearly gay, but there was something so vulnerable about him that Reid figured he'd either tie or follow Dowling when they both eventually collapsed in a pool of tears, self-recrimination and five bottles of whiskey.

All of them had stood and watched with caution as Reid paced from one end of the line to the other, Dowling already looking like he was going to vomit while De Soto kept hiding her iPhone whenever she thought he wasn't looking.

"My name is Dr. Reid Oliver," he began. "All of you can call me Dr. Oliver. This is the Oakdale neurosurgery wing, where I'm the unfortunate attending physician, and thus it falls upon my shoulders to instruct the next great doctor--" Reid rolled his eyes for effect here --"but I'm usually bitterly disappointed on an annual basis. I am your instructor. I am not your friend and I will not hold your hand when things get rough. I will not console you when blood squirts on you, when someone pees on you, when some mentally deranged patient goes nuts and slices you all with a scalpel one of you was idiotic enough to give him." Dowling looked like he was ready to run, while Singh tilted her head in interest. Reid stopped in front of De Soto and grabbed the iPhone she wasn't quick enough to hide, and with great relish, threw it against a wall. De Soto's face was hilariously outraged and she looked like she was about to launch into a tirade when Reid cut her off. "You are a medical intern who wants to learn about how to cut brains up," he said, lacing his voice with enough anger that De Soto backed down almost immediately. "You will not find the answers talking on your phone. If that thing shows up while I'm talking in the future? It goes down the toilet. Is that clear?" She nodded and cast her eyes down.

Reid walked off and it was only Singh, Kwon and Snyder who followed him immediately. "De Soto. Dowling. Are you waiting for an engraved invitation?" He turned around and saw De Soto struggling in her heels while Dowling's complexion took on a greenish hue. Three with good instincts, two idiots. Not a bad first day, all things considered.

***

Mornings like this, when it was rainy and felt like a biblical apocalypse, were not his favorite way of starting the day. He was completely drenched, his clothes sticking in weird places and revealing a lot of things. Someone whistled as he was walking to the elevator, which was normally flattering but Reid couldn't imagine why seeing him wet would compel anyone to whistle. He was changing into his scrubs in the locker room when he got the unpleasant surprise of Bob Hughes waiting outside the change room door.

"Dr. Oliver," Bob said in that genial way of his. Reid knew the tempered steel underneath those words though. Bob was one of the few people Reid felt both respect and terror for, because Bob Hughes was like Santa Claus with a machine gun for the naughty kids.

"Dr. Hughes," Reid returned. "What a fine day we're having. Fall leaves in beautiful colors. The hospital cafeteria switching menus from tasteless summer vegetables to flavorless fall vegetables."

"Spare me your rants about the hospital food for another day," Bob said.

"To what do I owe this visit?"

"I assume you've seen your interns by now?" Bob said.

"Yes, because I'm not incompetent," Reid said. "I started with them two weeks ago. What is this in regards to?"

"You know that one of them is Luke Snyder."

"And that should matter because?" Was that supposed to mean something other than a bland name?

"Because he's the source of the money for neurosurgery wing that lured you here."

Reid stared at Bob in shock. "You're not serious?" he said.

"Quite serious," Bob said.

"I don't recall the foundation having anything to do with Snyder. And if that's the case, then why am I overseeing his training? Did the term 'conflict of interest' ever cross your mind?" Reid scoffed in disbelief. "You're much smarter than this," he said, unable to stop that twinge of disappointment.

"Then you should know that there are some decisions I have no choice but to make, Dr. Oliver."

"And here I was thinking you were just an idiot. Thank you for confirming that you're a coward as well, Dr. Hughes." Reid walked away as quickly as he could, incensed that he was being put in this position. He ignored Dr. Hughes' commands behind him. He'll probably pay later, but he didn't care.

It was Reid's lucky day that his interns were already waiting for him when the swinging doors to the neurosurgery wing opened. "Snyder," he barked out. "My office. Now."

Singh, Kwon, Goldfish and De Soto sent sympathetic glances at Snyder as he walked into the office. Reid shut the door behind him and examined Snyder. How the hell did a guy this young get so much money?

"Dr. Hughes just informed me that you somehow financed this neurosurgery wing."

"Yes, I did," Snyder said calmly, which just made Reid even angrier.

Reid leaned back against the door. "And if you're involved with a charitable foundation of that size, then you out of anyone should be aware of the conflict of interest here, Mr. Snyder."

"I know that," Snyder said quietly.

"Then why are you here, Mr. Snyder?" Reid asked disdainfully.

"You're new in town, Dr. Oliver."

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"My father's name is Holden Snyder. My biological father is Damian Grimaldi," Snyder said, a tremor of something huge and indefinable in his voice.

Reid stared at him in confusion until the latter name clicked. Jesus fucking Christ, he thought.

"I know my name is tainted, Dr. Oliver. No matter where I go, no matter what school I go to, no one will believe me when I say I accomplished things on my own. I thought that if I was going to be a pariah with a diploma people thought my biological father bullied people into or bought no matter how competent I was, I might as well as get in the town where a lot of the people know the circumstances." Snyder was looking to the side, but Reid could tell his jaw was clenched tightly, that he was blinking faster than usual.

Reid went around him and sat on his chair.

"I won't go easy on you, Mr. Snyder," Reid said. "I'm not afraid to fail you."

"That's what I want." Snyder raised his head defiantly.

"Good. Check your first world problems at the door and get to your rounds. Tell the other clowns I'll be out in a minute."

Oakdale was hell wrapped in white picket fences, Reid thought, as Snyder and his goddamn criminally gorgeous ass walked out of his office. Dr. Hughes, he remembered and rubbed the bridge of his nose. This apology was not going to be fun. On the other hand, he had five interns to terrorize later, so the scales balanced out.

***

The hospital's security team had already cleaned up when Reid found out about the incident.

The whistle of winter wind streaming between the buildings made it difficult to hear at first, but Reid picked up on the sound of someone crying as soon as the wind died down. He turned around to the concrete enclosure that housed the stairs and saw Singh and Snyder cuddled up behind it. He quashed the irrational, unidentifiable feeling that the sight triggered -- Singh had had a truly horrible day and deserved his complete attention.

Snyder looked up with venom in his eyes. "We don't need your special brand of supervision, Dr. Oliver," he snapped. Singh huddled deeper into Snyder's jacket and burst into fresh tears.

"Sadhvi," Reid said, and noted with distant amusement the way Snyder's eyebrows went up, how Sadhvi, even in her current state, raised her head from Snyder's chest to stare at him.

"I didn't think you knew my first name," she said, her distress temporarily forgotten.

"I know lots of things. I just don't choose to display them all the time," Reid said.

"I hate to interrupt this human moment, _Dr. Oliver_ ," Snyder said, "but yes, you do."

Reid glared at him, but credit to Snyder for not backing down.

"Bear with me, Singh," Reid said. "Let's run through this again, and at the end of it, I'll leave you to snuggle in comfort in Snyder's pathetic arms if you wish to keep doing it, and I won't even raise hell for another ten minutes before I send someone out here to tell you to get your head out of your ass. Deal?"

She nodded, while Snyder still looked mutinous. Reid ignored him to the best of his ability.

"What were the symptoms that the patient complained about?"

She drew a deep breath to compose herself. She was going to be a good doctor, Reid thought, putting other issues aside quickly to focus on the pressing one.

"She complained about headaches and double vision first thing in the morning," she said, her voice gaining more objectivity as she spoke. "She had frequent hearing loss with dizziness, and occasional weakness in her limbs. She asked me if she had a brain tumor, and I said I couldn't know that until I had some tests performed, and she laughed about that for ten minutes straight, which was really weird. I calmed her down and then called for an MRI, because she had all the symptoms of a brain tumor like she suspected. Then I requested her family doctor's name because the patient also said that her regular doctor just gave her migraine meds."

"And then?" Reid prompted. Snyder was looking at Singh with such exquisite sympathy that Reid wanted to smack him. He focused on Singh.

"Her family doctor came in later and said that I didn't know what the hell I was doing and pushed me against a wall. He threatened to have my license revoked and kept pushing me." She had regained her objectivity while recounting her day, narrating facts like a good journalist. "And when I said that I had just done the tests as a precaution, he said he was going to Dr. Hughes immediately to file a complaint."

"I'll share an opinion with the two of you that I trust will stay between the three of us?" Singh and Snyder looked at him with wide eyes as both nodded in unison.

Reid shook his head. "You two are Disney cartoons, you know that?" Their expressions quickly became confused. "Never mind," Reid said. "My opinion of the patient's family doctor is one you'll soon share yourself. He's an incompetent moron who missed the big signs, most unfortunately for his patient, who thanks to your MRI scan, now knows that she has a malignant brain tumor the size of a quail egg."

His interns stared at him in shock.

"Now, Ms. Singh. Your patient has asked for you directly by name, so it appears she has some faith in you. When it all comes down to it, it's the patient's wishes that matter. And you did the right thing, no matter what that idiot with a degree he probably got in a tropical island with a population of two hundred thinks." Reid stood up and looked at the gray winter sky. "Get yourself together and speak with your patient downstairs. Your patient's issues, as I'm sure you've noticed, are much more serious than yours. And let me know if you want to press charges for assault."

Singh nodded and inhaled deeply. She mumbled something to herself -- a Hindi prayer, Reid thought.

"Thanks, Luke," she said, and Snyder nodded.

Reid heard her footsteps echoing as the door slowly shut.

"That was mighty decent of you, Dr. Oliver."

"Don't get used to it. Get down there. You have work to do," Reid said. Snyder did a mock salute before going.

Reid stayed on the roof for a few minutes to relish the solitude. Living in this town gave him a new appreciation for being quiet, being alone. Everyone knew everyone's business, and Reid didn't care to know it.

***

De Soto was flirting with a blond muscle head in for some minor bike accident when he walked in, and noticed to his further surprise that Snyder was next to the patient, watching everything with a smirk in the room while in casual clothing.

"De Soto," Reid said.

"Dr. Oliver, this is Casey Hughes. He had a minor accident and hit his head, but he was wearing a helmet. We're just doing some precautionary tests," she said. Casey, Reid noticed, was staring at him in a daze, but Reid got the feeling that this wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

"And Snyder? What are you doing here?"

"I came with him. He's a friend," Snyder said.

Figures, Reid thought. Snyder would go for a vacant gym bunny whose greatest accomplishment was bench pressing his body weight.

"This is Voldemort?" Casey asked.

Reid was not a picture-taking person. He hated the forced smiles and poses that everyone did whenever there was a camera around. Nevertheless, he still wished he had a camera so that he could look at Snyder and De Soto's faces whenever he wanted, their faces a hilarious combination of fear, embarrassment and panic as they looked at each other, Casey and Reid.

"I prefer Darth Vader," Reid said, raising an eyebrow. "Or Dr. Lecter. At least he was a doctor."

Snyder's face was tomato red while his lips were bitten bloodless white.

"Dude, he's not that scary," Casey said. "I've seen scarier accountants."

"Shut up," De Soto squeaked.

"What? You guys asked for his face to be carved into a pumpkin for Halloween. Only you hospital nerds will get that joke," Casey said, and Reid would have lost any respect he had for Snyder for being in love with such an idiot if he hadn't noticed the gleam in Casey's eyes.

Snyder closed his eyes and then looked at the ceiling. "Casey, I swear to God--"

The pumpkin had been the subject of heated debate the days before. Someone had carved a pumpkin for Halloween with Reid's face in it, his teeth replaced by fangs and tufts of his hair intentionally resembling horns. It was left in the staff break room and Reid ignored it, but he heard the laughs, heard the comments of how good a likeness it was, how it should be his portrait in the hospital newsletter and website. He normally didn't care, but that Singh, Kwon and Snyder had been involved stung more than he expected.

"I don't doubt that he's an asshole," Casey continued. "But I was expecting a zombie dragon the way you kept bitching and complaining about him."

"As much as I'd love to hear more about your collective immaturity," Reid interrupted, "you're still a patient. De Soto, have you already requested the tests?" De Soto nodded her head five, ten, twenty times.

"Then I'll wait until they're ready. Mr. Hughes, Mr. Snyder," he said, and nodded at both of them. He walked out of the room feeling strangely small.

He heard the door open again and the sound of Snyder clearing his throat.

"Dr. Oliver--"

"Where did you get the pumpkin art commissioned?" Reid asked, flipping through some charts.

"Someone from the internet," Snyder said. "Look--"

"I don't have to look at anything, Mr. Snyder," Reid said. "Let's never discuss this again, is that clear?"

Snyder nodded and walked back to his room, seemingly intent on his shoelaces. Reid's mind was already on his way to his next patient, the moment almost forgotten.

***

A Monday in late November began with Reid being hit on the back of the head as he was getting to his car to go to work. He remembered seeing three men clad in black, the impact of whatever blunt object, and the oblivion of unconsciousness afterwards.

Waking up was a strange experience -- Reid's head felt like it was adrift on a cloud, and that it was only because he chose to cling to it that his mind didn't drift away. When he opened his eyes, he saw Luke with duct tape on his mouth, with his arms and legs tied up. Reid tried to get up but his legs and arms wouldn't cooperate, so he crawled over as quickly as he could and ripped the tape off Luke's mouth, a long and agonizing experience because Reid couldn't get the strength to rip in one quick motion.

As soon as he took the tape off, he collapsed in front of Luke.

"Sorry, Snyder," he said.

Luke cleared his throat. "Thanks," he said, his voice roughened with lack of water and lack of use.

"I don't suppose you know why your biological father abducted you and me," Reid asked.

"I know why he kidnapped me. I don't know why he took you along." Luke paused. "Are you OK? Damian said that they injected you with an experimental drug."

"Concerned?"

"Nah, I just don't want your blood on my shirt," Luke said. His normal voice was returning, which was comforting.

"Diagnose me, Mr. Snyder, and explain the proper protocols."

"Dr. Oliver--"

"Diagnose me and explain the protocols."

Luke gulped for breath and started shakily. "Unknown substance in your bloodstream. Causes weakness and loss of muscle control. Severe headaches, from the looks of it. Some symptoms are similar to morphine overdose, so naloxone hydrochloride could be an option. Um, uh, monitor heart rates and breathing--"

"Good enough," Reid said. Bizarre as it was, that calmed him down, knowing Luke was still paying attention. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing.

"Can you keep breathing loudly?" Luke asked. "Since you don't have the strength to untie me, it would help me monitor your status."

There was a part of Reid that was tempted to be really irritating, but he ruthlessly suppressed it. He kept on doing deep breathing exercises.

"I'm sorry," Luke said.

Reid looked at him and against his better judgment, felt a burst of sympathy.

"You didn't kidnap me," Reid said. "Unless this is part and parcel of the pumpkin incident, which we agreed never to discuss again, I don't see how this is your fault."

Luke smiled even as his eyes got glassy. "People around me seem to get hurt because of my biological father--"

"A deal, Mr. Snyder?" Reid interrupted.

"Okay?"

"I think being kidnapped together is enough of a bonding experience" -- oh, how Reid wished he could roll his eyes without inducing horrible pain right now -- "that we can call each other by our first names outside of a professional milieu."

Luke smiled. He still looked broken, but he smiled and some of the ache in Reid's chest eased.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Luke. That's all on Damian's plate. I don't think I'll get one," Reid said.

"Probably not, Reid," Luke said, clearly awkward with the new first name basis of their relationship.

They enjoyed a comfortable silence, which was noteworthy considering they were in a small, concrete cell with one light bulb above them. At least until Reid started to feel cold, frigid Arctic cold that he couldn't place.

"I'm cold."

"The drug," Luke said, moving like a caterpillar on the floor, which would have been funny any other time and at any other place.

Reid's teeth started chattering violently. Luke went on top of him for body heat once he got close enough, and Reid summoned his dwindling reserves of energy to put his arms around Luke to hold on. Luke was a furnace, and even if he smelled bad and had rotten breath, his warmth was enough, and Reid held on until he lost consciousness.

"Hang on, Reid. Please!" Luke pleading for him to hang on because he thought he heard something was the last thing Reid could remember. He didn't feel worried though -- he slipped under in a cocoon of warmth, some vaguely comforting feel and smell that convinced him everything would be all right.

***

Regaining consciousness was easier than the first time. Reid could feel the freshly laundered but still inexplicably scratchy material on the bed, the hum of machines and the warmth of someone's hand holding his. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Snyder looking the worst he'd ever seen him.

"Luke," he said, but he could barely complete the syllable. His throat was parched and it hurt to speak.

Luke smiled, then seemed to remember that he was still holding his hand and tried to let go as discreetly as possible.

"They're flushing out your system as we speak," Luke said. Reid nodded and slipped back into unconsciousness. He wished Luke hadn't let go.

***

Reid was a terrible patient and convinced everyone in the hospital that letting him get back to work was good for everyone's sanity. Everyone agreed. He felt a little insulted that everyone agreed so quickly, but then, he knew that doctors were usually abysmal at self-diagnosis.

He was not most doctors.

Luckily, his body cooperated. Whatever the substance was that Damian's henchmen had injected into his bloodstream flushed out quickly and he felt like he was at 90% soon after the police found them.

It was interesting to see the hospital's reaction. Not many of them liked him – in fact, many loathed him, but they were good enough people to still feel concern for someone who had a traumatic experience, no matter how terrible they thought he was. He'd had enough when he got to the neurosurgery wing, the tipping point being the expressions of all five of his interns as he walked closer to them.

"I'm fine," he said, "and I don't need special consideration." All five of them nodded quickly enough. That would have to do.

***

When Reid couldn't make sense out of things, he made lists. They made the world recognizable, divisible and manageable.

Why Oakdale is hell with an efficiently run state-of-the-art neurosurgery wing:

1) People have been proven to come back from the dead.  
2) There are evil twins.  
3) On a depressing town-wide scale, the food is overwhelmingly bland and terrible.  
4) People get abducted every two months. You know this to be fact.  
5) Mysterious diseases seem to afflict the population on a regular basis. Bonus pro: my paper on the effects of the Zellweger Syndrome on the brain has been published.

List of favorite sandwiches unavailable in Oakhell that I used to be able to get without too much trouble in Dallas (with one exception):

1) Turkey curry sandwich -- blast Singh for introducing me to this sandwich that only she can make.  
2) Shredded pork with roasted peaches on a toasted roll  
3) Beer battered catfish with salsa, purple onions and spicy mayonnaise on a hero  
4) Tahawus, chicken salad, slab bacon, lettuce, tomato, hot peppers, white cheddar on multigrain  
5) Carne enchilada torta, spicy pork, beans, cheese, salsa verde, jalapenos on a hero

One day, he walked into the locker room to change into a new pair of scrubs -- he had spilled red ink all over it and people kept thinking the worst – when he saw Luke changing into his own set of scrubs. Reid knew immediately that it was going to be a List Day. He noticed the scars (kidney transplant was a reasonable guess on one), the pale skin on display with the dark hair an insanely sexy contrast, the muscles borne out of hard work and not a gym, and felt his resistance to Luke's charms take one more hit it couldn't afford to take.

"Luke," Reid said, going to his locker.

"Reid," Luke said, muffled by his scrubs. Reid stared for as long as he could get away with it, looking at the hair from Luke's navel leading down into his pants. When Luke's head popped out of his shirt, Reid was already looking in his locker.

"How are you feeling?" Luke asked.

"Better," Reid replied. "And how are things with you?"

"As good as they can be." Luke shrugged. "I mean, it's not every day that someone's rich biological father abducts his son and his son's boss to get them to Malta."

"Why did he abduct me?"

Luke hesitated, which made Reid's hackles rise up. "Spare me your consideration," Reid said. "I'd think you'd know by now that I don't tolerate that kind of bullshit." Predictably, Luke rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he said, his eyes flashing. "He thought you were a nephrologist."

Reid stared at Luke, who met his gaze squarely.

"I was abducted because your biological dad's paid kidnappers are dyslexic and thought that I could provide proper care to someone with a kidney transplant?" It made bizarre sense, the only kind of sense that this stupid town ever made.

"Pretty much," Luke said.

Reid stared at Luke for a few more minutes, just to see him get really uncomfortable, before laughing his ass off. Luke looked outraged before a reluctant smile flit like quicksilver on his features.

"You're not supposed to find kidnapping funny, you know."

"In this town, you have to," Reid said.

Luke gave in and smiled, aiming that lethal facial gesture right at Reid. Get a grip, Oliver, he thought.

***

Why having sex with an intern is a bad idea:

1) They get attached like barnacles and expect better treatment.  
2) The sex is usually bad because a lot of interns are nerds who slept with books, not people.  
3) It's unprofessional.  
4) It's awkward to fail them for their sexual prowess and their incompetence.  
5) You chose not to get involved a long time ago.

Kidnapping changed things was a sentence that Reid would never have expected to think in his lifetime, but there the thought was, dangling like the grapes from the myth of the starving man. It was hard to look at Luke the same way. On long days with stupid patients or incompetent doctors, he didn't even bother.

***

The hospital fundraiser was hell in satin and really shiny shoes. Or it would have been hell, but someone spiked the punch so Reid felt loose and relaxed. His colleagues were giving him strange looks; Chris in particular looked like he didn't know whether to take pictures or to glower with rage when Reid told them anyone who would listen the story of Chris running around campus in a diaper singing _Love Fool_ by The Cardigans.

He saw his interns, well, three of them anyway because Singh and Dowling had shifts and couldn't attend. De Soto was a knockout in a red dress while Kwon looked uncomfortable in his navy blue suit. Luke was wearing something name brand and tailored that could probably pay all of Reid's existing student loans; it would have pissed him off ordinarily, but life was great right now.

"Luke. Kevin. Larissa. Stay away from the punch. Someone spiked it," Reid slurred.

"I have this, guys," Luke said, and grabbed Reid, leading him away from Kwon and De Soto.

"I wanted to talk to them," Reid said.

"I've seen you drugged out," Luke said. "I don't think you'd want to see anyone else see you like that, especially your interns. Why didn't you notice the punch was spiked anyway?"

"I was thirsty!" Reid said indignantly. "I came right from my shift and drank a huge glass. It was hard to taste with all that juice in there."

"Let me guess," Luke said, "you didn't eat anything either because you were going to stuff your face here."

"I had the poached pear with Stilton mini sandwich," Reid said. "Each bite was like manna from heaven. I could almost believe in God."

Reid turned and noticed Luke's incredulous expression through the alcohol daze.

"I can't believe you've seen me drugged out twice already. I never even smoked weed in college," Reid said.

"I should play the lottery then." Reid could swear Luke laughed under his breath. "I can take you home if you want," Luke said.

The world spun and Reid had to play that sentence again in his head. Did Luke just offer to sleep with him?

"Won't your boyfriend be offended?" He was confused -- he thought Luke was a better person than that.

"I don't know where to start with that question," Luke said. "First of all, I don't have a boyfriend, and even if I did, why would he be offended?"

"Casey Hughes," Reid said. "Blond muscle head."

Luke laughed and laughed and laughed. When he was done laughing, he looked at Reid and laughed again.

"Casey," Luke said, "is a very good friend. I can objectively see that he's attractive, but sleeping with him would be a disaster even if he was actually gay."

"He looked gay," Reid said.

"I'll make sure to tell him that," Luke said, leading him to outside of the ballroom where the fundraiser was being held and bringing him closer to the parking lot.

"I would have slept with him," Reid said. "It would probably have been just a one-night stand though. He looks like he could suck cock really well."

Reid didn't have to turn to know that Luke was staring at him.

"I'm traumatized for life," Luke said. "For life!"

"Please. You work in medicine."

"There are some pictures that shouldn't be seen. I can't unsee it," Luke said mournfully.

"Because it's hot," Reid said. "Come on, you just said you could see that Casey is attractive."

"Doesn't mean I want to sleep with him. Now or ever! Oh, thank God I got lucky with my parking spot," Luke said. Reid felt himself rushed to the passenger side, his seatbelt buckled for him as if he was a child. Sitting down was a bad idea, because his fatigue hit him at the same time the rest of the liquor did.

The rest of a night was a blur. He felt strong hands ushering him to the bathroom, felt the same hands stroking his hair as he vomited liquid in the toilet bowl along with bits of undigested pear and Stilton. He was led to bed, his shoes taken off, his curtains drawn, Reid recognizing the _zing_ of the rings on the rod as they were drawn tight.

"You are something else, Reid," he heard Luke say. He wanted to ask him to stay but his mouth felt disgusting, so he went to sleep instead, lulled by the slow, languorous strokes of Luke's hand in his hair.

***

When he woke up, there was a tall glass of water and some Advil on his nightstand. He was the sole occupant in his bed, and he let himself indulge that infrequently wished for desire, that memory of how good it was to wake up with strong arms around him and how reassuring the heat of another body was next to him.

The glass of water was a relief, the Advil an eventual one. The room still seemed to slip and slide but it wasn't the disaster last night. Thank God his apartment was small enough that he didn't have to cover much square footage.

"Feeling better?" an overly loud, obnoxious voice asked.

"Shut it," Reid said, closing his eyes at the sonic drill-like effect of Luke's voice with a horrible hangover. "I have your future in medicine in my hands, and I can sentence you to a life of wiping up people's asses if I really want to."

"Sorry," Luke said, more quietly this time. Reid opened one bleary eye and noticed Luke behind the island in his kitchen.

"Thank you," Reid said gruffly. "For last night."

"I should be thanking you," Luke said. "You've given me blackmail material to last at least a year or so."

"Use it and die."

"Nah, don't think so," Luke said, smirking as he turned back to the toast that he was apparently making.

If Reid squinted, tilted his head to the side, this could look real. A happy ending or interlude out of some tedious romantic comedy. Something possible.

He shook his head to clear it. When Luke turned back with a smile and an offering of toasted bagels and whole wheat bread, he was prepared for the sight and it still did things to him that he didn't really want to think about, but the yearning was manageable.

***

As much as Reid hated giving it credit, anonymous programs really did have a point when it encouraged people to admit there was a problem. The minute Reid admitted his Luke problem, the easier it was to make his peace with it, to let it lie in the background as a low resonating hum.

This was his career, his life. What the TV shows always forgot that was that the intern was always the one who lost more in the end, never the doctor with the experience. Luke deserved better than that. The constant thread of want he felt for Luke became a fixture instead, the way a piece of art can become wallpaper if it's there long enough. On certain days, you remember that you have it and you take extra time to look at it, examine its colors and strokes and marvel at the beauty of it all over again as if it's a brand new discovery. Life reasserted its unavoidable pull, and the art became part of the scenery again, its vitality submerged until you had the time to stop and look until all its mysteries were revealed.

The rest of the year passed – there was another kidnapping and a cave-in from a mine that Reid didn't even know Oakdale had. Someone who was previously thought dead came back and Reid had to examine them to make sure it was the same person. Through all of this, Luke had proven himself to be a competent doctor. However, Singh and Kwon were exceptional. De Soto hadn't killed anyone, which was a plus, but Dowling almost did, and Reid put the fear of God into him.

In an odd way, the kidnapping soon became a joke to both of them. During moments here and there, a joke would be said and Reid would seek out Luke's eyes only to find him already looking back. With the close calls that they've had, Luke maintained a respectful professional distance that Reid honored, and their personal relationship, what there was of it, lost the earlier bite that it once had. If Luke was dating someone, Reid never saw him and didn't want to see it either way.

Seasons changed. People died, people were born, people were hurt, people were healed, people left town and new people came in to take their place in the Oakdale tapestry. Reid found that with enough pressure and bribes that Al's could make two of his most missed sandwiches. He published articles, saved lives, had some casual sex with people he'd never see again in cities close by and had occasional bursts of loneliness he lived with or fucked away or ate through.

It was a good life. It could have been better, but he wasn't going to complain.

***

The annual evaluations were due, and Reid had only room for two people to continue on in his specific elite team in neurosurgery.

Singh would get a recommendation, as would Kwon. Dowling had requested a leave of absence and had yet to return. De Soto was switching to dermatology. Luke had good people skills and good instincts, but was only a competent surgeon and there were only two slots available, which Kwon and Singh had earned brilliantly. Luke didn't have Kwon's precise and steady hand or Singh's near-unshakeable calmness in the operating room.

Luke walked into this office with a smile, which Reid returned half-heartedly. He sat down on the death chair, as his interns called it.

"Not good news, huh, Dr. Oliver?" Luke said.

Trust Luke to beat him to the punch, Reid thought. "I'm afraid not, Mr. Snyder. Ms. Singh and Mr. Kwon are the ones who'll receive my recommendation for my team."

"I expected as much," Luke said, still smiling.

Reid looked at him with skepticism. "You're taking this remarkably well, Mr. Snyder."

"Despite what you think, I'm not an idiot. I know Sadhvi and Kevin are much better than me. I'd have punched you if you had given it to me."

"Despite what you think, I'm not an idiot," Reid repeated, imitating Luke's voice, which he probably didn't do that well considering Luke's face. "Personal feelings have no room in my decision-making process."

Luke stared at him with his mouth slightly open. Reid thought back to what he said and tried to think of a graceful way out of it.

"Personal feelings, Dr. Oliver?" Luke said. His voice was down to a whisper.

"The kidnapping," Reid said quickly. He congratulated himself for thinking on his feet so quickly.

"Right," Luke said.

After what felt like an age of silence, Reid asked, "What are your plans for the future? I'd be happy to give you a recommendation. You can continue on with neurosurgery of course, just not on my specific team."

"I don't know yet." Luke said. "I loved learning about it, but I don't think it was for me. And no, that's not sour grapes."

"There's no shame in that. As long as you don't go into something ridiculous like psychology."

Luke shook his head. "Don't ever change, Reid."

"Let's not get sentimental." Luke laughed and muttered something like "only you" but Reid didn't really feel like investigating.

Luke rose and extended his right hand. "It was a difficult privilege to be taught by you, Dr. Oliver."

Reid laughed. "An equally difficult pleasure," he said. "You no longer have to strive for my good professional opinion. You're free as a bird." Luke laughed again, his eyes crinkling at the edges and it was hard for Reid not to tug at their clasped hands to bring him closer. The handshake lingered a few seconds longer than appropriate, after which he let go with great regret. Luke walked to the door, and it was on the tip of Reid's tongue to ask him to stay, but for what? For whom? He turned around and opened a random file cabinet, staring at its contents and willing it to yield something of interest.

"Reid?"

He looked at Luke over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised in question.

"Feel like getting a coffee sometime?"

"Yes," Reid said. He'd be embarrassed by how quickly he answered, but looking at Luke's face, he was suddenly very confident that Luke didn't mind.

  


EPILOGUE

The night was interrupted by the soft glow of candle light, the silence broken by the occasional cricket's chirp. Reid was full from a spectacular meal, and they had the outdoor patio to themselves. He'd say luck, but he doubted that Luke was discussing the weather with the manager earlier.

Reid reached across the table to grab Luke's left hand. He watched as Luke's eyes drew half-shut as he kissed each knuckle on Luke's hand. He felt each kiss with his entire body, as if his nervous system started and ended with his lips, his mouth and the tip of his tongue. He pulled back to stroke Luke's cheek, to place it on the juncture of shoulder and neck, to feel Luke's pulse thrumming beneath his hand.

"Not bad for a first date," Luke murmured.

"Not bad at all," Reid said. He held on to Luke's hand and the delicate moment between them lingered like the pleasant warmth of air before summer's first day.

THE END


End file.
